We Need A Plan B

Skipping. Is This Our Plan B?

Skipping. Is This Our Plan B?

7 February 2014

c – hooray, the bus stopped to pick up Phoebe this morning – a good start to the day. Had to laugh as the wind was playing merry hell with that short, short skirt.

S – yes, Sophie was stressing about that as well and clutching feebly at the back of her “pelmet of a skirt” in an effort to keep it down. The headmaster was at the gates – he needs to be a bit tougher about this skirt length business.

Later …

C – am feeling clinically depressed; as you know a great friend of mine, Kristina, is soon to be joining the 50 plus brigade. She has decided to celebrate the event by going to a posh hotel/spar and I have been invited. Yes, there is a God up there who knows I need a break with the girls. It is, of course, the best therapy that does not require a prescription and will include copious amounts of champagne, wine and laughter.

S – oh, you lucky thing I wish I could come.

C – so sorry Sheshe limited guest list “Best Friends Only” but will send you a text with a photo of us all enjoying ourselves.

S – thanks!

C – the whole thing will be wonderful, 5 star luxury hotel, pool, spa treatments, lunch, dinner and then a fabulous treat; lunch at a seriously posh waterside hotel on the way home. So I need a swimming costume. Went to TK Maxx to try on cossies. Not to be recommended, it was a hideous ordeal never to be repeated. Unleashing my usually well scaffolded body in that cubical was pure hell. Hence the depression and need for more wine. Top of my wish list is now some drastic cosmetic surgery – do not think anything else will help.

S – steady on can’t be that bad, come over and we can have a glass of wine and put some posts together.

C – ok, just leaving but am not the best company today.

S – we must start that spinning next week – we have been talking about it for so long! Hopefully you are not filling in at the estate agents and that will give us time.

C – no, not at estate agents so spinning is a sure thing!!

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Eat Your Heart Out Miranda!

C – was wondering what you are up to today, are you in town rummaging through those sale rails?

S – Sorry for late response but have been changing over the house after the Christmas Holiday and forgot to take my phone.

C – everyone seems to be incommunicado today. Maybe it’s the big clear up after Christmas. All those jobs we need to get done before going back to work on Monday. Not a great thought. I never fell like I am back to normal until the kids go back to school. Have just had a debate with Pheoboe who is moaning again about me spending too much time blogging. She says that I am like Tilly from the comedy show Miranda!!! I have never watched it so had to ask for an example. The response came rather kirtly, that when I use the word “incommunicado” I sound like her when she says “delicoso” which is supposed to mean delicious. What do you think.

S – Yes I think I can see the similarity!!

C – Well I can’t. I see myself much more like the talented, successful and funny Miranda but definitely not the silly side kick. Did you hear Miranda on Desert Island Discs this week, very amusing?

C – by the way exciting news I have discovered the sender of the Christmas Hamper?

S – apogolies but cannot find a picture for todays blog as internet down and useless husband has taken to his bed with man flu.

C – typical, if you want a job doing, do it your bloody self as you can never rely on a man!!

We Definitely Need To Address This Issue!

Piling on the pounds!

Piling on the pounds!

S – Camilla and I went Christmas shopping today in an effort to get organised early. On the journey the discussion turned to the fact that we had both gained a little weight and definitely need to address this issue. This fact was further reinforced when we decided to try some clothes on in Zara – a big mistake. We looked like sausages stuffed into skins in the items we had chosen, which caused us to collapse in utter hysteria. We noted on departing that the changing room assistant (size 6 at a guess) had a look of scorn on her face which said, “What are these middle aged women doing in my changing room?” Having not learnt my lesson I tried a dress on in another store, that boasted those all round mirrors where you can see what you look like from behind – most unattractive; will not be doing that again until I have shed a few pounds!

On the way home I commented that I am worse off than Camilla as I think I have put on more weight. Camilla graciously said that she thought that, pro rata, we were pretty much in the same boat – uncomfortable!

I was keen to start our weight loss programme immediately but Camilla pointed out that there was no earthly point in trying to address this issue whilst in the midst of the festive season! At this point I received a timely text message reminding me of a birthday party I am attending on Saturday night, which is definitely going to mean piling on a few more pounds. So we have laid down the guantlet and set a date for the first of January to start the new regime. OMG! Will this mean giving up WINE!!!!!!

Why Are We Waiting ?

Too many pairs of shoes but very proud she has got herself a job. (Photo by Alicia Hylton)

Too many pairs of shoes but very proud she has got herself a job. (Photo by Alicia Hylton)

C – whilst my daughter can be difficult like all teenagers, I am very proud of her as she has got herself a part-time job as a waitress at a smart gallery that is also used, in the evenings, for parties. However, this means she now has extra cash to spend which is eternally burning a hole in her pocket resulting in frequent shopping trips, preferably to one of those large shopping complexes.

I find that these excursions are a form of self imposed purgatory and not for the faint hearted. Hours are spent hanging around in “young people’s” shops. One of these shops (a very well known one which I am sure we are all familiar with) even insists on selling their expensive clothes in almost complete darkness. It is not uncommon to leave this particular store with what you think is a pink top, only to open your bag at home to find it is orange!

And, of course, never make the mistake of taking your eye off the ball and looking at the occasional item for yourself or you will hear your teenage daughter exclaim “Mum do you really need another pair of shoes”, conveniently forgetting the 18 pairs that are kicking around in their bedroom.

Whilst waiting outside yet another changing room, I find myself musing about mothers who recount tales of how much they love shopping with their teenagers. Have I done it again and missed out on some wonderful kind of mother daughter bonding?

Still, I am very glad that she is so keen to get out there and earn a bit of cash for herself – will have to just be patient and keep chins up!