No Sense Of Adventure

Can't imagine why Camilla isn't keen! (Photo by www.flickr.com)

Can’t imagine why Camilla isn’t keen! (Photo by http://www.flickr.com)

5 January 2015

S – well I made it in at 0820 – yeh me. Children caught the bus. Jamie still not done all homework even though I have nagged all holiday. Happy New Year!!!

C – well done you. I seem to have piles of files on my desk and I don’t know where the lady I work with is today; no sign of her yet and it is gone nine. George has arrived home, his mood is sombre. He thought he had a job offer but it has fallen through. He does not go back until 5 February; God knows why because we have had to pay the bloody rent again for January because his finance does not get paid ’till 2 February. It’s so long since I logged into my PC I can’t remember my password!

S – 5 February – my God that is another month and all that rent!! Very quiet here.

C – did I tell you Toby has some plan to go away next weekend; according to him we need thinking time, Why? I have no money to spend on hotel and dinner.

S – where are you supposed to be going and what is the thinking time for?

C – God knows. I have to choose the venue. He did mention going away in the campervan – I was not amused. I can think at home; don’t need to spend money to think. He is obviously planning a trip away on his own and wants to soften the blow by taking me away. I do not need the hassle; just go.

S – what campervan – did not know you had one?

C – OMG have you not seen the heap of rust parked outside the flat. I can’t believe it has an MOT. It belongs to a friend of Toby’s but he does not have parking for it, so we have it rusting outside of our place. In return Toby gets to use it when he goes sailing away from home and needs accommodation. It was the campervan that George was driving in London when he got done for speeding and for the congestion charge!

S – have not seen it – and you don’t fancy a weekend of passion in the back of it – tut, tut – where is your sense of adventure???

C – gone, along with my good looks, and high spirits – a dim and distant memory!

Bees Round A Honey Pot

The photocopier has caused Camilla no end of problems.  (Photo by www.hrwebcafe.com)

The photocopier has caused Camilla no end of problems. (Photo by http://www.hrwebcafe.com)

28 November 2014

C – bonjour, I hope your morning is going swimmingly. I have found a new place to park, just of Culliford Road going towards Lancaster Road lots of spaces and not far for me to walk, although I did notice some twitching curtains as I locked the car and walk away, so may end up finding a note on my car window screen. Had to do the horses this morning so had no time for breakfast; only had three rich tea biscuits which are not my favourite at the best of times. The end result is that I could now “eat the crutch out of a low flying pigeon” as our dear friend Ozzy Patrick would say. No cream cakes around and I don’t like to help myself to the biscuits as I makes me look greedy, will try to hold out as is only 1200 ish

S – all very quiet over here. One of my colleagues, who shall remain nameless, should have been on annual leave but cancelled it. He is in annoying me, I have plenty of annoyance at home do not need any here. Was looking forward to a nice quiet day. I hope he invents some appointments to go to!

C – poor you. I have officially started my lunch as is nearly 1230; will have to slip out for a sticky bun to keep me going through the afternoon. Phoebe has a hockey match after school so will be working till 5.00 ish. At least it is warm in the office; was freezing in the flat when I got home ‘cos we don’t have heating on in the day time. It’s called fuel poverty!

S – 1200 ish is lunch time in my books – that is why I am always so hungry when I get home.

C – just been to the photocopier and the new girl, who is very slim and pretty, was having a spot of bother. She had not adjusted the quantity she wanted to print on her computer and paper was spewing out of the machine at a rate of knots. I told her to go back to her computer and terminate the print job. She was not sure how to do this and, before you could blink, she had half the males in the office buzzing round her computer trying to help. I suppose that is what happens when you are young and pretty. No one offered to help me when I had the same problem but I guess I am well and truly past my “sell by date”!!! Have had dramas with George – it is a long story so will tell you later.

S – a drama with George – I think that is overdue – things have been very quiet in that area for some time.

Knee Not Good

Think something is amiss!

Think something is amiss!

28 October 2014

C – hi was up early and had bottom cheeks on seat by 0800. Not feeling great as I over imbibed last night, as per usual. I have to say the anti inflammatory tablets do seem to be working ‘cos my knee did not hurt in bed and when I got up I was able to walk a little easier and it was not as painful walking to work. I am going for an x-ray on Friday. Why do these things take so long; it is not as though I am at the GPs at the drop of a hat moaning? Oh well. Very bored and now have an issue with my tax code and have to ring the tax office which will be a challenge in its self. Still I can do that in work time not in my time.

S – sorry about knee – hope you get it sorted. The x-ray should hopefully shed some light on the situation.

C – am setting up a spreadsheet with details of private landlords and letting agents and I need to check their details on the web, but keep getting access denied – will have to ask someone for help, I suppose. The head honcho went home about an hour ago as he was feeling unwell; think he has man flu. Thank god he is not self employed. Will be trotting out that door myself when not feeling top notch. Hehe

29 October 2014

C – maybe we could share some e-mails with our readers as text messages have been put on hold, due to new job. I have had a marvellous find in the office; got my hands on a big box from the stationary cupboard which I have located under my desk. It is the perfect height for resting my leg in the horizontal position, thus taking the weight off it. Am thinking that the medication and rest are doing a good job. Every cloud has a silver lining.

S – have already been compiling e-mails for blog all the typing does make one look so busy. Much easier and more convenient than texting!

C – at last, I have found an IT bod who knows all that there is to know about the computer system and how everything works. Have decided to mother him a bit and get him on side; then when I have a drama he will sort it out. Was thinking of making him a cake for being so helpful.

S – yes, or you could give him one of your walnut whips – you are good at that mothering lark. You had “Will I Am” eating out of your hand!

C – yes, it always pays dividends to keep a walnut whip up your sleeve. Am fed up now; feels like I have been here forever and ever. Losing the will to go on. Do you fancy popping into Spoons – it is the boss’s birthday and he has asked us all out for a drink – could do without it? We could meet by accident then I could chat to you instead of them.

S – sorry, but can’t make Spoons. What a nuisance that you have to drag up the high street in the rain but it would be a poor show if you declined. I did three Christmas lunches two years ago, due to starting a new job and wanting to keep in with the lady who arranges bank staff at my old post – all of the lunches were dreadful and expensive but theses things have to be done. I am not doing any this year except for the estate agent one as that one is free!!!

We Seem To Have Eating Disorder As Well As Drinking One!

I wish I had one!

I wish I had one!

23 October 2014

C – good morning, how are you today? Got up late this morning as Eleanor said she would do horses, so I laid in my bed for far too long. I had to scrape Hannah off the sheets after her school trip to London yesterday and, as per usual Toby was still in bed when I left, so lord only knows what will transpire after my departure. Still, as I sit here tapping away I am thinking to myself that a few mornings missing the bus and having to join the school run traffic will be a steep learning curve for him. Oh well it’s out of my hands, although I will have to face any aftermath on my return home. So happy that I will at last be getting my ears syringed; I can’t wait. How sad is it that ear syringing is all I have to look forward to. Hope your day goes well – just off to get a brew.

S – got in at 0905. A school run or two down Queen’s Avenue will do Toby the world of good!!

C – I am now making tea, clearing the kitchen and then visiting the post room – not sure I can cope with the excitement. Can’t remember my passwords to get into Learning Portal and the lady who had them is not working today. So, pretending I know what I am doing, think I may have to resort to thoroughly cleaning the already clean kitchen area again in oder to look busy, ‘cos that’s what I do best!

S – Well, at least it is a nice kitchen area with all mod cons!

C – yes, and did I tell you they have a dishwasher, how sprancy is that? Still cannot get into system and can’t find IT Bod, as not sure of her name or what floor she is on. God help me it is only 11.30 and I am already starving.

S – am hungry too – thinking about tackling lunch now, as not sure I can wait until 1200. Have to go downstairs to organise some parking permits for a meeting, so that will hopefully keep me away from the trough for ten minutes. By the number of e-mails from you I imagine you are as busy as me!!

Later …

C – lunch has been consumed. Just have a “Mug Shot Snack Stop” left – flavour, cheesy pasta. Just realised I can now use these e-mails for blog and can cut and paste – so much easier. Only one problem – I have deleted all the ones from this morning – being overly cautious!! Can you forward them all to me? It will give you something to do and make you look busy.

C – silly moo – ok will resend them. I have now been put in touch with someone who can sort my ID and Password, which apparently I have in the multitude of notes I have scribbled in the last three days. So problem resolved and now I can spend some time at least looking like I know what I am doing. No one up hear seems to have problems with eating disorder, or probably drinking disorder come to that, like us. They are all very serious and no one is tucking into lunch yet. Just about to snack on a walnut whip – what a treat yum!

S – lucky you – wish I had one. All e-mails now cut and pasted – will try to do post later.

C – clever girl, if I was nearer I would give you my walnut whip as a reward but as you are not I will be forced to eat it myself, shame!!!!

Be Prepared Girls!

12 June 2014

Michael found this very amusing!

Michael found this very amusing!

I could not enlarge the above but this is what it says – be prepared girls!!!

This is an actual extract from a sex education book for girls, printed in the early 1960s in the UK and explains why the world was much happier and peaceful then..!

“When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look you best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows in, in particular, your commitment to obey him.

If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband’s wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man’s satisfaction is more important that a woman’s. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.”

Long And Slow, Like A Cold Beer

Quote

Long and Slow (Photo by Afonso Lima)

Long and Slow (Photo by Afonso Lima)

1 June 2014

C – just at House of Health and Beauty with Phoebe – she is having her eyebrows done. Some woman in waiting room looks like the back end of a bus in leggings and t-shirt. She got up to go for treatment with her t-shirt up over her bottom and she has a wedge!

2 June 2014

S – How goes it at estate agents?

C – long and slow like a cold beer which is what I could do with now. Feathers have been ruffled in your office by the new PA I understand.

S – yes, I have heard the same.

C – I am at the sea front, feel like crap as I drank too much last night – why do I do that whenever I go out? I have no self control. Flat out with viewings all day – hell’s teeth. I hear there is trouble at your end already.

S – yes, big row between Laura and Phillip. I only have two viewings – others are keeping expensive properties for themselves and giving me crap ones. I want to come to your office.

C – that is rubbish, I would be fuming. What was the row about?

S – did you go anywhere nice last night? Row was about nothing really; Laura was fussing about the fact that a staff member turned up at our office instead of the Purbeck one and Phillip hit the roof as he had not yet had his Costa Coffee and it was only 8.29am! I want to come to your office.

C – La Caverna, yes it was very good and we managed not to row which was amazing. Think the other lady will retire soon so hopefully not long now. We are having KFC for lunch, yippee.

S – well done not rowing, were you alone or was it the company that stopped the rowing. PS: I have been told by “she of the beige stilettos” that my footwear is not appropriate. Hells teeth as you would say.

C – no, just two of us. Just at viewing at smart £800,000 flat but apparently viewers are time wasters who look at houses for a hobby but never buy. I have a viewing this afternoon with some woman who has won the lottery – lucky cow.

S – So you are trusted with the expensive ones, unlike me.

C – what difference does your footwear make – wait until she is middle aged. Am now at open afternoon at flats with my feet up on my sofa. Apparently, they are happy to sell me the sofas when all flats are sold – great!

S – can you ask about the blue sofa in the other apartment, that one has my name on it.

C – ok, but the penthouse flats have still not been sold, so could be a while.

S – no problem, as I am not in a hurry.

C – damn – viewing with lottery winner has been cancelled – just my luck.

S – just wait till we win the lottery; we will be on our gin palace sipping vino being waited on hand, foot and finger but some eye candy – none of that leaning over the edge and sailing nonsense.

C – talking about leaning over the edge, I have just pulled in at Osmington Mills and, upon glancing out to sea, I spotted my husband in his sailing boat – how the other half live – it can’t be right!!

S – no, not right. I have just had another wasted viewing. I wish staff would ask more questions and truly find out what viewers want so we do not take people to houses they will never want to buy.

C – just had Patrick on the phone and George has done his first night washing up in the restaurant – he now has dish-pan, hands which is a first!

3 June 2014

C – just heading out of the door – infection in my leg is agony but, as per usual, I have to go as I need the money.

S – let me know if I can do anything.

C – got to second clean and they are having a new boiler fitted so am going home, thank goodness – leg has swollen visibly and is very painful.

S – just at doctor’s myself and spotted someone in the waiting room who I do not want to engage with so have decided to hide in the lavatory; if anyone tries the door I will cough loudly and stumble out with magazine in front of my face.

C – bloody hell, just seen the Echo and Dukes sold a miniature vase for £45,000 – why can’t that happen to us?

S- bloody typical. I am at hospital waiting to see consultant for my Temporomandibular joint disorder; am sure it will be a waste of time and that nothing will come of it, as I am not exactly a priority.