Sounds As If A Fun Time Was Had By All

Definitely need some new ones!

Definitely need some new ones!

16 June 2014

C – next time I have some money I serously need to buy some bath towels. Just got washing in from line and mine are like cardboard and practically impossible to fold. Phoebe commented that no one needs to exfoliate in our house, as the towels are so rough they are like sandpaper!

S – could do with some new ones myself but am afraid they are at the bottom of my list with all the school trips to pay for. I am doing bank work today and was greeted at office with the words “oh, thank goodness you are here we are so short staffed – can you work the whole day?” Needless to say it is only 10.00am and there is bugger all for me to do, so what is that all about? Still, I am not complaining as I am getting paid. What is holiday house like today?

C – extremely messy as the group who were there for the weekend were, yet again, on a stag party – we seem to attract an awful lot of stag partiers. Found a wig and women’s underwear in the bin – am trying not to imagine!

S – sounds as if a fun time was had by all, except you and the ladies who help you clean. Hope your next lot are not as bad.

17 June 2014

S – forgot to tell you, I was at Accident and Emergency with Sophie at the weekend – she had an allergic reaction to some crop. She was out and about with friends in the fields above the farmyard.

C – hope she is ok now. I am just at the hospital with Toby’s mother. Her cataracts are troublesome and the hospital car did not turn up, so I have brought her in. Phoebe is off school today. She is flopping around; we have a doctor’s appointment for this afternoon – heaven only knows what is wrong with her – can’t put my finger on it.

Later …

C – just at doctors now with Phoebe. Hope we can get to the bottom of this one but not holding my breath. Was in hospital all afternoon with mother-in-law. I asked the doctor if she could be fast tracked wither cataracts, as she is 92 and time is not on her side. He thought that was highly amusing and said he would do that for her.

S – well done in getting mother-in-law fast tracked – not easy to do in the NHS nowadays. Hope doctor is able to find out what is wrong with Phoebe.

C – the doctor could not find anything in particular but took some blood and urine. I am thinking there is really nothing wrong and that she needs to have a much “stiffer upper lip!” I have tramped all over that hospital today, first with Toby’s mother and then delivering Phoebe’s samples!! Oh, and by the way, I am apparently the worst mother in the world.


Full Fridges And Wine Racks

Why does my wine rack always look like this?  (Photo from

Why does my wine rack always look like this? (Photo from

8 June 2014

C – was thinking, all those houses I clean have full fridges and wine racks. I am always scratching around for a bottle of wine – is that because I have no money or because, if I have wine, it has to be drunk.

S – think it is the latter, as with me.

C – oh, that is disappointing. I was hoping you would say that, as connoisseurs of wine, it is our duty to taste as much as we can, broaden our palettes and share our knowledge with a wider audience. In fact we drink to help others!! I see it as a vocation that not everyone can rise to. Oh, and it helps if you can open a bottle a day! Let’s face it no one knows when their number will be up. How dreadful to ‘pop one’s clogs’ leaving a full wine rack to someone who may not appreciate it.

9 June 2014

S – just had supervision and was girding my loins for another telling off; my internet use has been rather excessive, but all was rosy – hallelujah!

C – good, you cover all the work quickly and efficiently and are hardly ever sick so what would anyone have to complain about? When will ‘you know who’ get a conscience about his work ethic. Just cleaned our flat; do you ever think life is one long round of drudgery, with no time off for good behaviour?

S – that is a good question. All I seem to do at the moment, with five of us in the house, is clean and wash and cook.

C – oh joy, I have just picked Phoebe up and we had a huge row, as she is predicted an E in her Maths GCSE – all we need is a C. I have a tutor starting next week at great expense. PS: and, of course, it is all my fault because I am so bad at Maths, at which point I reminded her that I ran my own business very successfully for ten years and did all my accounts, so I cannot be that dim!

S – just got your message, poor you but I am sure it will all come out in the wash.

10 June 2014

S – off to a presentation on changes that are happening re work for an hour and a half. Think I will have to tuck myself in a corner and have a snooze; I am sure it will be a bit like the DES training.

C – at least it is a short presentation. Hope you have resolved row over laptop that you told me about last night and that no blood has been shed at your house – last thing you need is rowing over something you can’t do anything about.

S – yes, Michael fixed the laptop so all sweetness and light in our house at the moment.

Maybe The Feng Shui Look Would Be Worth Some Research

This looks very Feng Shui - we can see ourselves here.

This looks very Feng Shui – we can see ourselves here. (Photo by Andreas Krappweis)


C – Sheshe and I managed to get together on Monday morning because, as I keep reminding her, we blog better together. To which Sheshe replied “You hum it I’ll play it” – I have never heard this saying before!

However, I digress. Camilla met a friend the other day whose home is so very casually chic and we began to chat about interior design; in particular achieving that Shabby Chic look that so many aspire to. We have both given this look a try; I attempted it when I was running the B&B and Camilla when she moved to her current home. However, in trying to emulate this style we found that our homes began to resemble The Dorchester Curiosity Centre, a well-known antiques/shabby chic emporium very near to us. In no way could we boast that they looked anything like the aforementioned friend’s “casually chic” home.

Maybe the Feng Shui look would be worth some research. For those not familiar with Feng Shui it is “a Chinese philosophical system of harmonising the human existence with the surrounding environment” (Wikipedia). A spot of harmony would go down a treat but this might involve Feng Shuiing our less than tidy loved ones out of the house!

10 December 2013

C – bloody hell, two amazing people in Taiwan are reading our blog – bless them.

S – we are getting so global, and how on earth have you got time to look at blog in the morning with a hangover – I’m impressed! (It was Camilla’s birthday yesterday and we had a riotous night out with Helena, Kitty, Tallulah and others – ok we have given them pseudonyms – we don’t know anyone called Tallulah!). More about birthday later, as I must get on with cleaning my house.

Hogging The Remote Control. It’s A Man Thing!

Don't get my hands on one of these very often!

Don’t get my hands on one of these very often! (Photo by Ry Young)

C – I have just finished the dreaded holiday house – it was a tip, as usual, but I have managed to combine a haircut, girlie fun and work all at once. This is what I call an excellent morning of multi-tasking (something that the male of the species seem to struggle with). Over coffee, the conversation turned to lifestyles, family and friends – a bit like an episode of Loose Women without all the sitting around! Finally we got around to discussing men and their constant need to be in charge of the television remote; thus forcing us women folk to suffer their appalling choice of programme – my husband is particularly fond of Michael Portillo’s Great Continental Railway Journeys . I was horrified, the other evening, when I noticed that Michael is only half way through that little red guide book he clutches; showing off his fluent French at the drop of a hat in his freshly pressed fuchsia and lemon jackets. At the end of the programme he did actually get his kit off on the beach, but thank heavens he was sporting a Victorian all-in-one swim suit – sighs of relief all round!

S – The only vain hope left is that our husbands will nod off enabling us to carefully remove the remote from their sticky little fingers, so that we can catch the end of the Strictly re-run. I do envy those whose husbands are forced to frequently work away from family and home – poor souls, lucky wives!

It Is The Little Things In Life At Our Age

Maybe tin foil would help!

Maybe tin foil would help! (Photo by kliverap)

22 November 2013

C – come to me to blog – be prepared, it is damn cold here. Just been into my bedroom to change the sheets and I am practically hypothermic. A thought came to me, where can you purchase some of that foil they wrap around marathon runners. Maybe I could wrap myself in some before sliding into bed. On second thoughts, the rustling would keep me awake. Bed socks and a balaclava could be the alternative; very sexy bedroom wear!

S – yes.

C – what do you mean, yes. Where is the witty repartee. Need to get these text messages moving forward – you are not allowed one syllable responses, ok.

S – sorry.

C – so you should be. It would be nice if the blog created a little revenue so that I can put the central heating on!

S – PS: I did notice that Phoebe had her radiatior on Number 4 when I went in to her room.

C – yes, I am in and out of there like a fiddler’s elbow turning it down. Just been into Toby’s office to get linen for the bed and it is like a brothel in there – sharp words were exchanged and lots of door slamming went on. I was unable to door slam when running the bed and breakfast, so it gives me great pleasure now. It is the little things in life at our age!

Camilla Is Sure Her Husband Has Some Colour In His Cheeks!

Camilla's husband has some colour in his cheeks!

Camilla’s husband has some colour in his cheeks!

S – after much juggling we managed to get together to blog today – we find blogging together much more effective. However, we chose to do this at Camilla’s and Oh My God was it cold – definitely a case of fuel poverty. Camilla said she is always listening to programmes on the Radio 4 about people having to choose heating over eating or vice versa. Following a ridiculously huge (and contentious) electricity bill at the end of last year, she has resolved to “cut back to the bone” on any extravagant or excessive energy use. Each morning Camilla has a glass of water by her bed with a film of ice on it – she has just made me a hot water bottle which is helping. Her husband is working in his office and we have a sneaky suspicion that he has the electric heater on! She can see him from the kitchen window and is sure that he has some colour in his cheeks!!!

Girl’s School Blazers

Good grooming is always necessary for the long school day ahead.

Good grooming is always necessary for the long school day ahead.

S – Camilla came over early this morning to drop something off. It was 0645 and all eyes in our household were still firmly shut (she is an early bird and we are all bed huggers). She had to call from her mobile to gain access!! We were laughing over my two children arguing about the shower. Jamie, who normally scrapes himself out of bed at the last minute, had unusually decided that “cleanliness was next to Godliness” and leapt into the shower first. Sophie was jumping up and down outside the bathroom door banging loudly, as she needs at least an hour to prepare herself for the rigours of the school day, which can play havoc with one’s hair and makeup!

This brought us onto the subject of the girl’s school blazers (which seem to resemble some elaborate transformer, similar to those toys that transformed from monsters into cars, the afore said blazers transform into the most amazing multi-pocketed travel holdalls). These blazers contain every conceivable makeup accessory (including false nails and eyelashes, in case of emergencies), along with a phone, iphone, headpones and money. Each item is carefully compartmentalised for immediate and seamless access. On questioning, it appears that there is not one single pocket that can be spared for unnecessary items such as pens, pencils or rulers. Of course, carrying an uncool item like a pencil case would cause one’s “street cred” to plummet through the floor! (Don’t even mention the school homework diary that was left abandoned in the bedroom). What happened to short white socks, over the knee skirts and school hats? They don’t know how lucky they are.