Is Someone In The Office Reading Our Blog?

We like drinking better!

We like drinking better!

5 July 2014

C – how are you? I am at my first viewing with Mr Arrogant who is being very rude to his wife – not pleasant.

S – I’m at West Knighton as no one else in the office wanted to do the viewing and I am happy to be out and about. Lovely couple on second viewing of large house in the countryside (very pleasant owners too, so good all round).

C – this chap is being a real wanker and he has no intention of buying the property. Poor woman – how she has put up with him I do not know. I have another viewing shortly, so I will have to be firm I think.

S – there are some wankers around (except for the Wine ones who, of course, we love!).

C – at next viewing and they are fretting about where they will put the Christmas decorations as the loft is not large enough for them – aarrgghh!

Later …

C – am now at the flats and have been told by the office to sit in the ground floor flat where there is no furniture. I have to sit on the floor whilst my comfortable sofa upstairs remains empty of my bottom cheeks. Me thinks someone from the office may be reading our blog. How are you doing?

S – just back and have managed to eat my sandwich and now need to return to the property I have just left.

C – what a waste of time – you could have had a cuppa with Helena in West Knighton and then returned to do second viewing. I am just reading today’s paper and my eye was draw to the following article “In Your Fifties – your body wont change if you ask it nicely; you have to force it” – I can’t be arsed quite frankly.


My Head Firmly In The Sand!

We need to keep an eye on that commission

We need to keep an eye on that commission (Photo by Jamie Brelsford)

24 May 2014

S – hooray, I have received the usual text from the bank that I did not want to open. Sheshe and Camilla need to get published and big time.

C – those messages are very depressing. I have my head firmly in the sand and don’t have them.

S – damn – I am stuck in the office while the other Saturday girl has all the viewings and will be sat on my sofa at the smart flats for two hours in the afternoon.

C – that is not on. If I was in your office we would share the viewings and the sitting around on the comfy sofa. I think I have sold another house – two couples very interested so I can see a bidding war on the horizon.

S – well done you. Do you think we would be missed if we slipped into The Vivo Lounge after work for a glass before going home?

C – I can’t as I need to get home but maybe another time. I am being driven mad in this office. I can’t even make a phone call without being told I did it wrong. I want to come to Weymouth – arggghhh!!!

S – keep calm, we are working on it. Just been checking the progress of some of my successful viewings and someone is trying to nab one of my sales. Noticed an offer on a viewing I did with someone else’s name against it on the computer – have just added mine.

Am Flat Out With Viewings

He will be applying for one of these before too long!

He will be applying for one of these before too long!

25 April 2014

C – oh joy, it’s Friday – first text message of the day arrives from bank with extremely bad news. One day I hope to be cheered by my early morning Friday text.

26 April 2014

S – just arrived, not one bloody viewing all day – crap!

C – bloody hell, I am flat out – 9 viewings today. It is going to be a long day. Why don’t you suggest getting around some properties to familiarise yourself with the product you are selling. Am currently at a property that has the most wonderful views down to the sea, but the access rather steep – how am I going to sell this one?

S – with your charming reparte you could sell ice to Eskimos.

C – just arrived at smart, expensive flats. Have two hours here manning them in case anyone comes to open morning, am going to make a cuppa and eat packet of Cornish clotted cream shortbread I purchased, to keep me going. Lovely sea views and I want that sofa.

S – lucky you. However, I have sold my first house for £400,000, go me.

C – well done you – some commission coming your way, eventually.

S – oh poo, off my tits here, with phone calls – need to be in your smart flats with sea views.

Later …

C – day is over and am just slipping into Vivo Lounge to meet girls who are just back from the theatre in Southampton – how the other half live. Feet are killing me.

27 April 2014

C – thought I would have a lay in as was very late home and am knackered; drank way too much last night yet again. Got text from George this morning at 0530 to say his One Card was not activated so have spent an hour on the phone sorting it out. You know the type of call speaking to automated voice; press 1, press 2, press 5 – I want to scream!

S – a bit like laying on the sofa, a life of ease is not for you.

C – bloody wine, feel crap.