Too Much Tea!

They fit perfectly!

They fit perfectly!

20 November 2014

C – finally settling into office life. I managed to prepare myself a healthy tuna salad which is sitting in the fridge; I have some light French dressing and Ryveta biscuits and yogurt. In addition, with my wages I have purchased some expensive No 7 Protect and Perfect cream which I have sitting on my desk. I will be moisturising regularly; it’s my new skin care regime. Am hoping to see some results within the week.

S – my oh my – you are really settling in – healthy salad, Ryveta and No 7 Protect and Perfect – would it not be better to keep it at home for application prior to arrival at work?

C – no, because my skin is very dry and sore; think it is probably a side effect of excessive alcohol consumption. I feel I have to apply the cream several times a day for fear of eyelids breaking down completely.

S – oh, poor you – did you ever get a referral for that – you need to see a consultant?

C – not a chance – I tried to get a referral but the GP would not give me one. Talking about drinking, they drink so much tea in this office. I have just made yet another trip to the ladies room; I have been up and down like a fiddlers elbow. I then discovered I have been flying low; do hope nobody has noticed but it is hardly surprising the number of times I have been since 8 o’clock this morning – tea is going through me like a dose of salts. Thank God I had that bladder surgery or I would never have made the trip from my desk to the loo; and if anyone had engaged me in conversation or made me laugh (not that I can imagine such a thing here) I would have been gusset awash! So glad that, that little problem is a thing of the past, however, I did forget to ask how long it would last – don’t know if it wears out!!

S – would definitely have been gusset awash. Excessive tea drinking is an occupational hazard in offices. When I get home I can sometimes feel it sloshing around in my stomach I have drunk so much.

Later …

C – just back from scout around the shops, they have some lovely cardigans in the Laura Ashley sale; a pretty green one that is my size down to £32.00 – thinking I may splash out. I am currently wearing Phoebe’s old school trousers to work. They fit me perfectly and she always wears a skirt. I got them for £10.00 in Sainsbury’s last September and I think she has only worn them once. I have got to the bottom of my basket; no more to do and its only 2 o’clock, which means I will have to do those 1790 files that need sorting and moving – yuk, yuk, yuk!

S – Camilla, school trousers to work – you need to get a couple of pairs from TK Maxx or Next – cheaper than Laura Ashley. You can’t continue wearing Sainsbury’s school trousers.

C – who says so – needs must!


No Fancy Sprancy Taps For Me

The cause of Camilla's cold cuppa soup!(Photo by

The cause of Camilla’s cold cuppa soup! (Photo by

13 November 2014

C – was in trouble this morning when I got to the office; I had left my ID card in the bedroom, so was unable to access the building. Note to self; maybe I should put on my flexi sheet the time I arrived at the door and was unable to gain access, as I was on the premises. So I will be unable to leave my desk all day, no hope of accessing the post room. Hell’s teeth how I look forward to that little diversion in my day. Maybe I could have a word with admin boss to see if she has a spare ID card in her desk. This must happen to other people can’t just be me!!!

S – you have to put that card in a pocket in your bag and never put it anywhere else, otherwise this will happen. I did forget mine once when I changed over to my “summer handbag” but that won’t be an issue for you with your one and only handbag!!!!!!

C – “summer handbag” indeed – as you say, I only have the one. However, ID card issue is now sorted as I have been given a Visitors one. I successfully accessed the post room (albeit on my second attempt) only to find there was no post in the “Housing” pigeon hole. Head now in hands as I have nothing to open, stamp and distribute which usually takes me up to 40 minutes, if I read all correspondence thoroughly. So, back at desk shuffling papers. I have been wondering if I could retrain as an Environmental Health Officer; they seem to have it pretty chushty and get out and about all the time. Suppose I would need to get a degree and am crap at maths. Don’t know if I could convert my Professional Housing Diploma; will do some research.

S – Environmental Health Officer would have been a great job for me. I would love to visit restaurants, etc and point out their deficiencies in the cleaning department – I was made for that job!

C – yes you were, there is only so much one can stand staring at this bloody computer screen. Have got reserve glasses today and they are not cutting the mustard like my others; they must be a lower resolution and are just not sharp enough, if you get my drift. Have you eaten lunch yet!! Am starving and seriously considering cuppa soup and my cheese and salad wrap – yum. Just been given the good news that I have been paid my wages, the bad news is that it is not enough, still can’t complain.

S – not yet, I have an Uncle Ben’s Medium Curry Rice Time (half price in Iceland) – only drawback is that I have to go down to the café in the basement to heat it up – they don’t trust us to have microwaves on the office floors.

C – yum sounds delicious, another reason to move jobs, we have microwave, dishwasher “Zip Tap”, automatic windows and all sorts of added extras here. However, my posh new chair suddenly decided to slide downwards and I found myself looking like Mr Bean with my chin on the desk. Everyone has left the office for lunch, so I will swap it with someone else’s and try not to LOL when it happens to them. So wanted to laugh but had no one to share the moment with! I also had an unfortunate incident with the Zip Tap and my cuppa soup. I was filling it with hot water and some how I managed to touch the cold water, which comes from the same tap, and it filled my soup with cold water; what a bugger.

S – I have nice hot past mug shot – that is what happens when you have the fancy sprancy taps!

A Few Cheeky Cocktails Will Be Very Nice!

Too many of these in Camilla's office!!

Too many of these in Camilla’s office!! (Photo by

11 November 2014

S – I am working at the hospital today and they have a good poster in the office – it reads: “I don’t mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is nonsense”.

C – sentiments I agree with. I managed to get in at 0750 this morning so am pretty chuffed and Phoebe is working after school on some English she needs to catch up on; why I ask myself when she has so much time to do bugger all.

S – you got in at 0750 – you will have so much flexi you will be able to have a month off. I wish I could accumulate flexi – I can amass a bit of toil but not that much. Let me know when recruitment starts again – would be so good if we were both working over there!!! My two also staying after school catching up – when they have spent so much time at home doing nothing – how does that work?

C – will keep ear to ground re job. I had a laugh via e-mail with Julia yesterday; I passed her coming back from Weymouth on Sunday afternoon. She was cycling up Coombe Valley Road with her hat placed at an unfortunate angle on her head. I was thinking, as I passed, what sort of maniac does that and then I realised it was Julia! However, as I sit here typing this e-mail I can feel the bulge hanging over my trousers and really think I must stop eating and drinking and join Julia on a bike ride. Aghaghagh!!!!

Later …

C – the lady who is training me is not in today. I need to process a grant payment but I am struggling. The notes on processing the payment are not helping me and nobody else knows how this payment system works, so I am buggered well and truly. I forgot about the one minute silence; nobody told me it would be happening in the office. I was aware it was quiet but was engrossed in payments system. I looked up and suddenly realised everyone was standing and not working; I felt so terrible as I think it is such an important gesture – I feel very stupid and rude.

S – don’t worry – I am sure they will understand – we had the silence here.

C – I do hope so. On another note, I have accumulated 8 hours 20 minutes flexi so far already; a day and a bit. I can do a three day week sometime.

S – that is so much – you have only been there a few weeks. I definitely need to be working with you – am fed up with not having enough leave – worked all through the holidays when, in thoery, I could have accrued some flexi during term time. Do you clock in and clock out?

C – yes, electronically on my PC. I can use some of it to go to the estate agent’s Christmas Lunch; looking forward to our little trip on the train, it will be a real day out. Can’t remember where we are going to eat. I have a memory like a bloody sieve – must be my age.

S – I can’t remember either but have written it in diary so will let you know. Michael may still not be able to drive after his operation – if he can’t I will drive and you can fill your boots with the cheeky cocktails!!

C – no problem, I will make Toby pick us up, it won’t kill him to. Cream cakes have just arrived in the office as is someone’s birthday; of course I will have to indulge or is that bulge!!!!

S – it is definitely bulge!!!

How Did Kitty Manage That?

Poor Kitty (Photo by

Poor Kitty (Photo by

6 November 2014

C – morning, hope you were in bright and early. I was up at 0615; I have worked pony, mucked out and my bottom was on my office chair by 0830. I am meeting Julia in Costa at 1235; don’t suppose you can make it.

S – not a chance. I have just finished Excel 2010 Training Course and, unlike you, didn’t get in until 0915 so no break for me. Say hi to Julia!!

C – what a shame; was it good training? I could do with a bit of that kind of updating; never mind all the of the crap I have had to sit through. Just packing up now and winding down before lunch. Oh, how am I supposed to wind down when I have not wound up yet? Still, last day in office for this week so chins up girl.

Later …

C – just had a text message from Kitty, she has just been to Lidl shopping and has locked the keys in her car. Such a pain when that happens; have offered to rescue her but she has the RAC coming to sort the issue.

S – I expect she was loading up on cheap wine. How can you lock the keys in the car with electronic locking?

C – God knows but Kitty has managed it. I will be in touch after my “Costa packet” coffee. Oh, I just remembered I got lottery ticket yesterday so must look up numbers – that’s something to look forward to.

S – don’t forget me if you win big time!

C – it’s your fault I bought the damn thing – I have enough bad habits and don’t need to add gambling to the list. Had a great catch up with Julia, she is a laugh, she was giving me the run down on the new office bod, she sounds very weird and poor Jane says she has no sense of humour. God knows the work is dull enough with out work colleagues being dull. How are things panning out your end, Is Mr S in residence today?

S – no sign of him. Poor Julia – that office is getting as dull as ditch water. You definitely don’t need to add gambling to the list but the odd ticket won’t hurt! Have you heard anything from George lately?

C – sadly have not heard from him myself.  Apparently, he spoke to Toby yesterday and got some dosh out of him; luck him everytime I try I seem to fail.  Oh crap, just realized have hardly a drain of fuel in the bloody car it’s a shame they don’t run on fresh air.  Will have to zip down to London Road garage to fill up before I come to pick you up.  So bored; have been punching in names and address onto spreadsheet all day. It is like watching paint dry. My brain has become totally void of any kind of funnyness or joy  Help!!!!!

More Sandwich Board fun

We both liked this sandwich board!

Critical Dispatches


I was jogging around Primrose Hill and regent’s Park last week (as one does) and saw this sign. I had to do a second lap before taking the picture as I didn’t want to break pace. Enjoy. Writing is on the way.

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Grey and Greyer

Will this be the new, relaxed Camilla after her Christmas leave?

Will this be the new, relaxed Camilla after her Christmas leave? (Photo by

5 November 2014

C – I have just been sent my electronic leave card. It seems I have 7 days accrued; how I am not sure as I have only been here five minutes. It appears that 20 day is my annual allowance and that does not include the 2 weeks for Christmas and New Year. Apparently, we finish at lunchtime on Christmas Eve and are not back until 5th January! What will I do with myself; I will need to get an extra cleaning job over the festive season as I don’t think I can do nothing for that long!

S – welcome to the world of local government. I only have to work two days over the festive season and one of them is Christmas Eve so thought I would come in and see what happens. Am hoping I will be told to go home early; I can’t imagine I will be sitting here until 5.00pm!!

C – have decided, whilst gazing around the office, that I need to get my hair “coiffured”. No-one here has a hair out of place, but I suppose when one sits still for so long one’s hair does not move.

S – you have it right. My boss came in this morning sporting new hair cut and it had also been beautifully coloured – three shades excellently blended. Not like my three shades – muddy brown, grey and greyer!!

Knee Not Good

Think something is amiss!

Think something is amiss!

28 October 2014

C – hi was up early and had bottom cheeks on seat by 0800. Not feeling great as I over imbibed last night, as per usual. I have to say the anti inflammatory tablets do seem to be working ‘cos my knee did not hurt in bed and when I got up I was able to walk a little easier and it was not as painful walking to work. I am going for an x-ray on Friday. Why do these things take so long; it is not as though I am at the GPs at the drop of a hat moaning? Oh well. Very bored and now have an issue with my tax code and have to ring the tax office which will be a challenge in its self. Still I can do that in work time not in my time.

S – sorry about knee – hope you get it sorted. The x-ray should hopefully shed some light on the situation.

C – am setting up a spreadsheet with details of private landlords and letting agents and I need to check their details on the web, but keep getting access denied – will have to ask someone for help, I suppose. The head honcho went home about an hour ago as he was feeling unwell; think he has man flu. Thank god he is not self employed. Will be trotting out that door myself when not feeling top notch. Hehe

29 October 2014

C – maybe we could share some e-mails with our readers as text messages have been put on hold, due to new job. I have had a marvellous find in the office; got my hands on a big box from the stationary cupboard which I have located under my desk. It is the perfect height for resting my leg in the horizontal position, thus taking the weight off it. Am thinking that the medication and rest are doing a good job. Every cloud has a silver lining.

S – have already been compiling e-mails for blog all the typing does make one look so busy. Much easier and more convenient than texting!

C – at last, I have found an IT bod who knows all that there is to know about the computer system and how everything works. Have decided to mother him a bit and get him on side; then when I have a drama he will sort it out. Was thinking of making him a cake for being so helpful.

S – yes, or you could give him one of your walnut whips – you are good at that mothering lark. You had “Will I Am” eating out of your hand!

C – yes, it always pays dividends to keep a walnut whip up your sleeve. Am fed up now; feels like I have been here forever and ever. Losing the will to go on. Do you fancy popping into Spoons – it is the boss’s birthday and he has asked us all out for a drink – could do without it? We could meet by accident then I could chat to you instead of them.

S – sorry, but can’t make Spoons. What a nuisance that you have to drag up the high street in the rain but it would be a poor show if you declined. I did three Christmas lunches two years ago, due to starting a new job and wanting to keep in with the lady who arranges bank staff at my old post – all of the lunches were dreadful and expensive but theses things have to be done. I am not doing any this year except for the estate agent one as that one is free!!!