The Odds Are Not In His Favour

I want those boots!

Preamble

S – Camilla is in a state of high excitement and anxiety as George is off on his gap year travels. He departs tomorrow for Thailand and will then be visiting Vietnam, Cambodia, New Zealand and finishing in Australia spending time with Auzzie Patrick. He will be gone for at least six months.

Now this sounds like a great trip but George has a tremendous capacity for getting into trouble. He has a job to go to in New Zealand, so should be fine there. However, we had a small family party for him last Sunday and there was much banter about the chances of him being arrested at some point during his journey! It was generally felt that the odds were not in his favour.

30 January 2014

C – I have boot envy – I was walking through Goulds and tried on some fantastic brown leather boots. They fitted like a glove but were £200. 😦 We need to get published now!!! I must have those boots at any cost as I have a matching handbag at home. If things don’t look up I may be forced to take matters into my own hands.

S – not sure I like the sound of that, what did you have in mind?

C – am working on a plan which will involve you. I want those boots and it’s not like me to be obsessive about material things.

S – I am at work and my morning was quite peaceful until my concerns about how you are planning to obtain those boots. Even worse, my boss has left me some work and I thought I would have nothing to do today. I am all alone in the office and was going to get on with some blogging – don’t have time for this work malarkey.

C – how thoughtless of her to leave you work – anyone would think you were getting paid. Have had another drama – will text later as pressure is on.

S – can you fill me in on drama, as all work done and can get on with blogging at last.

C – I went to the wrong house to clean as I have been very distracted with George’s imminent departure from the UK. The people I should have been with rang so I had to leave where I was and go to them, luckily they live next door. I felt like a fool – not sure where my brain has gone or if I still have one!

S – very silly – has George left Dorset yet?

C – not yet – he goes this afternoon but I am not letting him leave until he cleans that hideous car out, as I refuse to do it. His friend Jason is driving him up to his old school friend in London, and he will catch the plane tomorrow evening.

C – just heard on the radio that, due to trouble now brewing in Thailand (not caused by George), flights could be cancelled. Something else to stress about, typical. I have suggested phoning the airport to check flight details. Meanwhile, I have Pheobe stressing and texting from school because she has not said goodbye to her brother. They can be in the same house together for two days and not exchange any pleasantries and suddenly her life depends on saying goodbye to him. Will he even be flying, I wonder?

Eat Your Heart Out Miranda!

C – was wondering what you are up to today, are you in town rummaging through those sale rails?

S – Sorry for late response but have been changing over the house after the Christmas Holiday and forgot to take my phone.

C – everyone seems to be incommunicado today. Maybe it’s the big clear up after Christmas. All those jobs we need to get done before going back to work on Monday. Not a great thought. I never fell like I am back to normal until the kids go back to school. Have just had a debate with Pheoboe who is moaning again about me spending too much time blogging. She says that I am like Tilly from the comedy show Miranda!!! I have never watched it so had to ask for an example. The response came rather kirtly, that when I use the word “incommunicado” I sound like her when she says “delicoso” which is supposed to mean delicious. What do you think.

S – Yes I think I can see the similarity!!

C – Well I can’t. I see myself much more like the talented, successful and funny Miranda but definitely not the silly side kick. Did you hear Miranda on Desert Island Discs this week, very amusing?

C – by the way exciting news I have discovered the sender of the Christmas Hamper?

S – apogolies but cannot find a picture for todays blog as internet down and useless husband has taken to his bed with man flu.

C – typical, if you want a job doing, do it your bloody self as you can never rely on a man!!

We Definitely Need To Address This Issue!

Piling on the pounds!

S – Camilla and I went Christmas shopping today in an effort to get organised early. On the journey the discussion turned to the fact that we had both gained a little weight and definitely need to address this issue. This fact was further reinforced when we decided to try some clothes on in Zara – a big mistake. We looked like sausages stuffed into skins in the items we had chosen, which caused us to collapse in utter hysteria. We noted on departing that the changing room assistant (size 6 at a guess) had a look of scorn on her face which said, “What are these middle aged women doing in my changing room?” Having not learnt my lesson I tried a dress on in another store, that boasted those all round mirrors where you can see what you look like from behind – most unattractive; will not be doing that again until I have shed a few pounds!

On the way home I commented that I am worse off than Camilla as I think I have put on more weight. Camilla graciously said that she thought that, pro rata, we were pretty much in the same boat – uncomfortable!

I was keen to start our weight loss programme immediately but Camilla pointed out that there was no earthly point in trying to address this issue whilst in the midst of the festive season! At this point I received a timely text message reminding me of a birthday party I am attending on Saturday night, which is definitely going to mean piling on a few more pounds. So we have laid down the guantlet and set a date for the first of January to start the new regime. OMG! Will this mean giving up WINE!!!!!!