This Is The Countryside, Not The Middle Of London!

No fibre optic broadband here!! (Photo by www.broadbandin.co.uk)

No fibre optic broadband here!! (Photo by http://www.broadbandin.co.uk)

6 August 2014

C – Eleanor is back on the ward. She has had two stents and all went well.

S – thank goodness for that and that they found the problem and have put the stents in. She could have had a serious heart attack. I will go in and see her this evening.

C – I am going in this evening as well, so I will see you later.

7 August 2014

C – Eleanor is being discharged today as they are very happy with how everything went.

S – that is good news. Are you free to come with me to Bournemouth to visit Doreen. There is a place available at the nursing home she is thinking of going into. I thought I would go and see her to let her know.

C – yes, I’ll come with you. Can we leave at about one? I need to do some shopping for Eleanor – I have just had two days off – what happened to my “me time”?

S – one o’clock is good for me. As for the “me time” – I don’t think you are cut out for it!

C – have just had the people from the holiday house on the phone complaining that they Sky TV is not working and that the broadband speed is too slow and can I do anything about it. I had to point out that we live in the middle of nowhere and we do not have fibre optic broadband, so, no, there is nothing I can do about it as I do not have a magic wand!!! Would you be able to come over to the house before we go to Bournemouth to look at the Sky Box as I know nothing about Sky? Why are they not at the beach in this lovely weather instead of watching TV?

S – exactly! I will be at house at one. Not sure I can do much but will take a look.

C – can you believe it – I have just phoned people at the house to check how Sky is now and it is working and he is sitting watching the cricket (one of the toddlers had pulled out a plug). Why did he not ring me!? I closed the conversation by saying that I would see them tomorrow at ten, to which he replied could they leave later. No, is the answer to that one too. I pointed out that the people arriving tomorrow will be on the doorstep at three champing at the bit to get in and it will take four or five hours to clean the place – hells teeth!!

S – ok, I will see you at yours at one. Just keep calm and carry on.

11 August 2014

S – my back went yesterday so I am in the office staggering around like an old woman. Only hope it is ok by Friday as I have to clean the holiday cottage. What are you up to?

C – I am near Yeovil at a one day event waiting for Phoebe and Toby to arrive. I have horse in trailer and they are coming from Wales – they went to stay with friends in Pembrokeshire for the weekend. I was looking after all the stock and the truck broke down. A very nice AA man came out and informed me it is the alternator – just what we need – not! Sorry to hear about your back.

S – oh dear, that won’t be cheap – hope Phoebe and Toby get to you in time.

Later …

C – check this out someone just posted it on our Facebook page. We liked it.

Weighing Yourself

Camilla Needs To Give The Days Off A Miss

I have spent too much time at the hospital lately!

I have spent too much time at the hospital lately!

5 August 2014

C – am knackered – was out on the lash ‘till so late last night then up early to do horses, as my sister is not feeling well.

S – hope Eleanor better soon. Where were you on the lash and with whom?

C – with Jeanette and Peter. We went to the pub, then to the Thai restaurant and then back to the pub – will I never learn!

S – you know if you are out with Jeanette you will suffer the next day. She is out of everyone’s league when it comes to being on the lash!

Later …

C – have just had a call from James, and Eleanor has been admitted to hospital. She has had a minor heart attack. It happened a few days ago and that is why she has been feeling so unwell. She is undergoing tests and waiting for an angiogram.

S – I am so sorry; call if you need anything at all. I have told work that I may have to leave.

C – thanks very much. No more days off for me – I have decided they bring me nothing but grief. I have one day off and my mother-in-law has a fall and my sister ends up in hospital!

S – no; it is a bit like sitting on that sofa – it is not for the likes of you. I am sure Eleanor will be ok now that they have diagnosed the problem – the hospital did everything possible when Michael had his heart attack (and it was a big one, not a minor one).

Want To Be Awash With Wine, Not Tea!

Is tea the answer - no wine is the answer!

Is tea the answer – no wine is the answer!

29 July 2014

S – what are you up to today – I am stuck at the Local Office.

S – are you there? Is everything ok – no reply to my text?

C – sorry, am running around like a headless chicken, as usual. I have just arrived at the hospital with Toby’s mother, as she has to have some minor surgery on her face. Then have to take my sister for physiotherapy. Then back again to pick up mother-in-law to take her home. I have no idea what time Toby will return from market, as he is unable to give me an estimated time of arrival.

S – oh dear – all of those are jobs that will not earn you any money!

C – yes, and I have spent too much time in this hospital for my liking lately. My status seems to be that of carer at the moment, along with everything else. I have just seen some skinny doctor, sashaying around in a low cut maxi dress.

S – I am sashaying around in my maxi dress today. It is so damn hot in this office it is almost unbearable.

Later ..

C – I am now back at mother-in-laws waiting for Toby to take over as I do not want to leave her. I am awash with tea, when I should be awash with wine.

C – home at last – just reaching for a glass of chilled Chardonnay and am raising my glass to my staunch mother-in-law who has reached the ripe old age of ninety two and a half, is tea total and does not smoke. There is obviously no hope of us reaching such an age, thank God – think the wine will take us before that.

I Can Resort To A Straw If The Situation Worsens!!

I have  Temporomandibular Joint Disorder (Photo by Mateusz Kapciak)

I have Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction (Photo by Mateusz Kapciak)

21 March 2014

S – have just been to doctor with hideous virus/cough. Apparently, my chest is clear so no antibiotics for me. Decided to mention that I have had severe discomfort in the left side of my jaw when eating. Doctor said that I have Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction (TMJD for short). I have been advised to avoid chewing in any form. I have to stick to consuming only food that requires no chewing, ie soup, porridge or baby food, for several weeks until the pain disappears! What fun, still I suppose I should loose some weight.

C – oh dear, but as you say, at least some weight loss should follow. Have you got one of those whizzers that you can mush up food with?

S – yes, I do have one but I always bought jars of baby food for my children so not sure which foods mush up easily. I seem to remember that you were more of the “earth mother” and did not use jars, so will need some advice in that area.

C – no problem; I am also a bit of a whiz at home made soups so will make some for you. Don’t worry – you will be so pleased with your new body at the end of all this you will forget your jaw pain!

S – well, one consolation, at least one does not need to chew wine and I can resort to a straw if the situation worsens!!!

It Must Be Surgery

Don't fancy surgery, even if I could afford it. (Photo by Phil Beard)

Don’t fancy surgery, even if I could afford it. (Photo by Phil Beard)

29 January 2014

C – I am sitting in the car at the bus stop. Phoebe has got out and it waiting for the bus but I am sure it has gone, as we are very late. She is checking the endless pockets in her blazer. I can tell by her face that something has been left at home. It won’t be the eyeliner, as that is the most important item she takes to school. Oh, she has returned to the car – she does not have a pen!!! Argh

C – at hospital now with nose in Hello magazine – that is the only good thing about a hospital visit – the magazines one can’t afford to buy. Had bad news today; a friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer – I only hope it is the type that can be treated successfully. Am feeling very selfish whinging about things – there is always someone worse off than you.

S – how awful. Yes, magazines are best part of a hospital appointment, although I find that I now don’t know most of the so-called celebrities featured in them. It must be yet another sign of my age. Hope all is ok with you at your check up.

C – everything fine – I voiced my worries about the mesh implant that I had heard bad things about on the radio but they said I did not have mesh. Oh joy I have tape, lucky me, apparently it can deteriorate and may need to be done again in 20 years or more. I think I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Later …

S – just watching Taste on TV with Nigella. She looks amazing – not one wrinkle on her face and no white powder on her nose. She is trying to be the new Mary Berry, I think, but it is not working for me.

C – wrinkle-less face must be due to expensive surgery – how old is she anyway?

S – have just looked her up on Google and am very depressed – she is two years older than me and looks about 10 years younger. It is simply not fair – and to think that she has abused her body with cocaine – it has to be surgery!!!

C – well there is no use being married to that Saatchi bloke if you cannot benefit from the money and have a little nip and a tuck when you want one. God knows he is nothing to look at.

A collection of fun wine images

We decided to reblog this post from the Wine Wankers as we thought is was great fun and because Sheshe is “sadly” a big cat person (as are many of our loyal followers); she loved the cat photo. I, on the other hand, am more of a dog lover – clearly the old saying opposites attract applies.

Speaking to Sheshe earlier, she was complaining that after a full day at work (hubby not allowed to drive for 6 whole weeks) she had been despatched to chemist for yet more laxatives, as husband’s bowels still being a cause of concern.

I have suggested that this could easily be resolved with a good bottle of red wine, or a couple of pints of our local Dorset brew called Tom Browns Bitter, a favourite of my husband’s – further suggestion would be gratefully received.

The Wine Wankers

After the success of our “Wine… It pairs perfectly with Christmas” post that was full of fun Christmas wine related images (in which you can have a look at by clicking here), I thought I’d share another lot of the fun wine related images that have come through our Twitter and Facebook feeds.

I wish I could credit the brilliant minds behind these but unless it’s on the image that important fact has been lost through time.

Enjoy!    😛

a-funny-cat-glass-wine-bottle

View original post 2 more words

How To Become “Digitally” Famous

Keep Calm Help Is At Hand

Keep Calm Help Is At Hand

22 January 2014

C – do you like this photo that Pamela sent to me? It made me LOL very much and I wanted to share it with you.

S – thanks, brilliant picture cheered me up no end this morning, I bet The Wine Wankers and The Drunken Cyclist wish they had one of those.

C – I did a great deal of research yesterday re stuff we need to know in order to be successful Tweeters. This is what one website said:

Learning how to use this fun, free, and useful tool can be a bit intimidating for the beginner, but don’t be put off – with a little effort and a lot of intuitive “feeling your way through”, you’ll soon be able to use Twitter well – and you might even become ‘digitally’ famous!

Once you’ve started using Twitter, it won’t take long before you come across what’s known as a hashtag. That’s when you see something in a Tweet that has a # prefix. (The # is a hash symbol, hence the term hash tag or, more commonly now, hashtag.)

S – ok I will do some more research then we can go for it.

Much Later …

S – I think we have achieved a great deal and exceeded even our own Twitter expectations by adding a picture from our library.

C – you know what they say two heads are better than one, yesterday was proof yet again that you can teach old dogs new tricks.

S – yes, this is true but we have only achieved one (independent of our blog) Tweet. We have had one reply which, unfortunately, is written in some kind of illegible code.

C – oh, is there some kind of special Twitter language that we don’t know about. It’s all such a mine field.

S – excellent news, break out the wine, I have just checked out our blog stats and we have another follower which brings us up to 128. Do you think this is as a result of sending our Tweet.

C – not sure! Is it from Andy Murry himself? We did wish him well and successfully attach our sheep photo. How are Michael’s troublesome bowels today?

S – well, the operation certainly did mess them up and he has been very stressed but we have at last (thank God) achieved some relief!!! See you tomorrow for some more Tweeting.