Camilla Sporting The Charlie Chaplin Look Today

It is his jacket that is too small - not his trousers!!  (Photo by www.allposters.com)

It is his jacket that is too small – not his trousers!! (Photo by http://www.allposters.com)

6 January 2015

C – how long will you be at work today; we could meet at lunchtime if you are free. You must be exhausted after your busy evening last night and the traffic was hideous when I left work – it took ages to get home.  Who is in your office today, I hope “You Know Who” isn’t in to give you grief?  I have a Back to Work Interview later so need to return to the office by 1300.

S – no he is not in. Lunch sounds good – where shall we meet?  What on earth is a Back to Work Interview?  I had horrible nightmare about the estate agents last night.  I had been sent on a viewing with hardly any directions and I couldn’t find the house.  I also left the office late as I hadn’t been told about the viewing.  What was that all about?

C – OMG such a vivid dream, don’t think I ever have dreams about the estate agents.  God knows what the bloody Back to Work thing is; I just don’t have time for all of that nonsense. I have made the most terrible fashion faux pas today.  I am wearing Phoebe’s school trousers again which are quite short at the ankle and are not looking great with the new shoes; the words Charlie Chaplin spring to mind.  Oh dear, was rushing to get to work and just did not look in the mirror. Will have to stay behind the desk as much as possible.

S – will you stop wearing Phoebe’s old school trousers – they are not a good look.  Yes, definitely stay tucked behind that desk!!

No Sense Of Adventure

Can't imagine why Camilla isn't keen! (Photo by www.flickr.com)

Can’t imagine why Camilla isn’t keen! (Photo by http://www.flickr.com)

5 January 2015

S – well I made it in at 0820 – yeh me. Children caught the bus. Jamie still not done all homework even though I have nagged all holiday. Happy New Year!!!

C – well done you. I seem to have piles of files on my desk and I don’t know where the lady I work with is today; no sign of her yet and it is gone nine. George has arrived home, his mood is sombre. He thought he had a job offer but it has fallen through. He does not go back until 5 February; God knows why because we have had to pay the bloody rent again for January because his finance does not get paid ’till 2 February. It’s so long since I logged into my PC I can’t remember my password!

S – 5 February – my God that is another month and all that rent!! Very quiet here.

C – did I tell you Toby has some plan to go away next weekend; according to him we need thinking time, Why? I have no money to spend on hotel and dinner.

S – where are you supposed to be going and what is the thinking time for?

C – God knows. I have to choose the venue. He did mention going away in the campervan – I was not amused. I can think at home; don’t need to spend money to think. He is obviously planning a trip away on his own and wants to soften the blow by taking me away. I do not need the hassle; just go.

S – what campervan – did not know you had one?

C – OMG have you not seen the heap of rust parked outside the flat. I can’t believe it has an MOT. It belongs to a friend of Toby’s but he does not have parking for it, so we have it rusting outside of our place. In return Toby gets to use it when he goes sailing away from home and needs accommodation. It was the campervan that George was driving in London when he got done for speeding and for the congestion charge!

S – have not seen it – and you don’t fancy a weekend of passion in the back of it – tut, tut – where is your sense of adventure???

C – gone, along with my good looks, and high spirits – a dim and distant memory!

No Sofas Here

I need a job with Camilla!

I need a job with Camilla!

4 December 2014

C – hope you are at your desk clocking up the hours.  As I descended the stairs this morning I thought oh good I am off to work for a rest, these words I have heard you utter on numerous occasions. Well I have joined the club. I was the first person in the office today 0755 clock in a good start to the day. Had a call from George and he sounded a bit down in the dumps – I think too much partying has caused a bit of a melt down!

S – you are good – 0755!! As you say work is now when you rest and recuperate for the rigours of your days off!! I am resting working at the Hospital today. I have nice cup of tea at my side – so win, win I say. I am sure George will be partying hard again soon.

C – a new admin girl has started today; extremely glamorous, tall, slim, very high heeled shoes, hair and make up perfect!!!

S – just what you need to make you feel good. You have little to do – what will she do?

C – she seems to be in the general admin section so not sure how busy they are. I will be away from my desk for a while as I have catch up meeting in the BREAKOUT AREA with the Head of Admin. That should take my mind off food for a while as I will have to be seen to be taking some notes. Oh no !!!!!!!!!!!

S – what the hell are you catching up on in the BREAKOUT AREA – sounds like an excuse to sit on a comfy “Friends Style Sofa” with a cuppa in your hand. I am thinking I need a job in your office – we don’t have any sofas here – please let me know if anything is going – I mean that!

C – yes I will. The meeting is about the unmatched files; all 1798 of them and how we are going to tackle the job.  Have had the meeting and I have typed up the processes necessary so pressure is on!!! The new lady has immaculate hair; not one out of place whilst I look like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards.  Washed my hair and left it down as I have been told by my daughter that I am now too old for pony tail in public!

Is George Going For A Record?

George - get some protection!

George – get some protection!

17 October 2014

C – am cleaning and listening to Radio 4. Some woman has made a fortune out of blogging about her dog which sleeps on the end of her bed – a poodle cross something. It is rather too gooey for me – look her up blog; it is called Plumdog or some such.

S – have looked at blog – she is an illustrator and it does look rather appealing – maybe that is what we need – an illustrator to fluff up our blog!!

20 October 2014

S – made a casserole for the five of us. I went to the neighbours for a drink with my sister (had one too many, of course). Came home and three people have eaten the casserole for five! How does that work? Christina and I now have to have cottage cheese and salad!!!

C – it works no better in my house. Home at five then straight back out with Phoebe to riding lesson. Got home and Toby asleep in the chair – I now have to cook something and do the washing up! Just think of the calories saved by eating cottage cheese instead of casserole. Am off to bed, as Toby watching the golf and it is like watching paint dry – hell’s teeth.

21 October 2014

S – am doing extra day at estate agents but only have one viewing booked. Was just about to go out when Laura said she would do the viewing as everyone gets lost in Stinsford! How the hell can anyone get lost going to (or in) Stinsford – sneeze and you would miss it. I did not argue with her as I could not be bothered, so here I am doing bloody call outs.

C – silly cow. Well, that is one for the blog – must make sure we put a link to Stinsford in it for those who do not live in Dorset. Have just seen one of our followers – she spotted me across the car park in Tesco’s and shouted “I hope that is not wine in that bag”, to which I replied, “Oh no, it is mineral water”. My nose is getting very long.

Later …

C – just had a text from Diane in Australia – Goerge got a ticket for driving without wearing a seat belt while he was over there, and it has just fluttered onto her doormat – he was using her utility when he was working for her. I have to pay $100 otherwise he will not be able to return to Oz.

S – is that boy going for some sort of record? That is the third continent on which he has managed to be fined for not wearing a seat belt!!

C – I think he is – it is like throwing money I do not have away. With Toby at it as well I am beside myslef.

I Am Never Behind The Wheel!

Why is my car always in one of these?  (Photo by www.clker.com

Why is my car always in one of these? (Photo by http://www.clker.com)

6 October 2014

C – am off my face today – just two of us to clean whole of holiday house and I have to take Toby’s mother to the hospital at midday. Broom firmly up arse as usual.

S – can’t Toby take her?

C – apparently not, as he is shearing sheep’s bums!!! I beleive the technical term is dagging.

C – will have to cancel our evening out as chaos at home. Toby called me at 4 o’clock to say that we need to be at the Grassland Society Dinner tonight and will have to leave home at 6 o’clock – he forgot to tell me. The truck has failed its MOT and needs loads of money spending on it. Eleanor is kindly taking Phoebe to Pony Club for me – let’s just hope they don’t fall out! So, our pleasant evening at Brewery Square will have to be postponed.

S – don’t worry – we can do it another time. All peace and quiet at mine thank goodness. Have a good evening. Are the Grassland Society a fun bunch?

C – no! And, forgot to say, received another photograph of my car being driven in a bus lane in Oxford today, along with a super duper fine to go with it. So, Toby is no better than George as it was him driving my car in the bus lane, and the last time I had one of these photos George was driving my car!!!

Home From Home For George

Pest Control needed - home from home for George!  (Photo by www.gpservicespestcontrol.co.uk)

Pest Control needed already – home from home for George! (Photo by http://www.gpservicespestcontrol.co.uk)

24 September 2014

S – am doing extra hours at other office. Skinny Nicole and Julie are planning an 81 mile cycle ride while we are planning a night out and anticipating the consumption of lots of wine!

C – bloody hell, 81 miles would kill me – are they mad? Have they given up running for cycling?

S – yes, as Julie has sciatica. Cycling is better than running – she has an exercise addiction in the same way that we have a wine addiction.

C – exercise addiction could be the better one to have, I fear. I have just had an e-mail from the letting agents for George’s flat – they are sending round the Pest Control Officer to deal with the rat problem and wasps nest. Bloody hell £2,000 per month for a four bedroomed house and it has rats!!! However, George did say it was home from home for him, as we seem to be continually battling mice at ours!

Camilla Needs To Give The Days Off A Miss

I have spent too much time at the hospital lately!

I have spent too much time at the hospital lately!

5 August 2014

C – am knackered – was out on the lash ‘till so late last night then up early to do horses, as my sister is not feeling well.

S – hope Eleanor better soon. Where were you on the lash and with whom?

C – with Jeanette and Peter. We went to the pub, then to the Thai restaurant and then back to the pub – will I never learn!

S – you know if you are out with Jeanette you will suffer the next day. She is out of everyone’s league when it comes to being on the lash!

Later …

C – have just had a call from James, and Eleanor has been admitted to hospital. She has had a minor heart attack. It happened a few days ago and that is why she has been feeling so unwell. She is undergoing tests and waiting for an angiogram.

S – I am so sorry; call if you need anything at all. I have told work that I may have to leave.

C – thanks very much. No more days off for me – I have decided they bring me nothing but grief. I have one day off and my mother-in-law has a fall and my sister ends up in hospital!

S – no; it is a bit like sitting on that sofa – it is not for the likes of you. I am sure Eleanor will be ok now that they have diagnosed the problem – the hospital did everything possible when Michael had his heart attack (and it was a big one, not a minor one).