Heads Up Girls, Lindeman’s £4.99 In The Co-op

Happy Valentines Day To Me

Happy Valentines Day To Me

12 February 2014

C – if you get a moment Google Quarterdeck – that is where I am. It is fabulous, loving the electric gates, very chic – I could see us retiring together here!! Huge kitchen that even has a wine fridge, heavenly.

S – wish I was with you looking round – it sounds marvellous.

C – OMG – the en-suite bathroom has a TV at the end of the bath – that is going to be my room. Also, all the lights come on when you walk into the rooms – fab!!

S – I have to have a TV in my bathroom too you know.

13 February 2014

C – how are you feeling today?

S – not too bad. There were twenty of us. Most of them had spent two hours slugging it back in the Vivo Lounge first. Food not good as per usual, and very small portions but buckets of wine, so a good time was had by all. Sat next to woman who bought the large house in the village and opposite the Smith lady who has split up from her husband – he was having an affair.

C – lady with big house must be minted then – has Smith lady’s husband been bonking anyone we know?

S – they are from London and have split the house in two as her parents live there as well. Do not know who he has been bonking but I fear it was always on the cards.

C – yes, I think he must have played the “my wife doesn’t understand me” card – bastard.

C – bloody awful evening. Two hours of Shakespeare is the last thing you need on a Friday night after a long week. Thank God for the large glass of wine during the interval. Went out after for a quick cheap meal. Phoebe left her phone at school so had to drive like a bat our of hell back to get it, as world had come to an end at the thought of a weekend without it. Toby did his usual and ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. My food not very good and by the time you add on a beer, a coke and buckets of wine it cost the thick end of £50, which it has taken me eight hours to earn. Hells teeth, am never going out again. Will get chips on the way home next time.

S – why does he do that?

C – he is a man, full stop. They do it on purpose to piss us off – and it works.

14 February 2014

C – happy Valentines Day.

S – what’s to be happy about, been running around since sparrows fart (as Aussie Patrick would say); am I the only person in this house who can do anything?

C – now at second clean, dinning table set for two with red rose in vase – OMG I want to vomit – how could anyone have such a perfect life. Oh no, champagne and chocolates in the fridge and candles in the bathroom – it is going to be a big night I think.

Hell’s Teeth, My Kids Think Joan Collins From Snickers Advert Is Younger Than Me!!!!!

Having Fun At The Dentist

Having Fun At The Dentist

24 April 2013

C – how is life in the office?

S – sorry, phone was on silent. Very quiet, will type up a few text messages.

C – OMG feel like I have been hit by a bus, never have a root canal filling – so much drilling, then they say, when you have a mouth full of ironmongery, “we want to take an x-ray, put this plastic thing in your mouth and bite it”. Thought I was going to throw up. Anyway, feel the need for wine already. As I lay in that dentist’s chair I thought I am falling apart – there is always someone prodding or poking one end of me or the other. Hell’s teeth!

26 April 2013

C – been back to dentist who has given me penicillin as she thinks all the work may have caused an infection. It is better today so let’s hope I do not have to have it out. Back still agony. Oh and one dead ewe this morning and Toby, as usual, has lost his phone en route to Split. God help me – thank goodness George is organised like me and looking after his father on the trip.

C – just been up to house – lovely folk but hoards of kids, babies and toddlers; it will be filthy and stinking of nappies. Looking forward to seeing you there – bring some Marigolds is my advice!

S – just seen our punters. Charming older couple with grown up kids so should be fine – no vomiting in the sink!

2 May 2013

S – I think I have a problem as I find myself already looking forward to a nice glass of chilled white wine and I have not left work yet.

C – me too – it is called alcoholism, I think everyone should have an “ism”?

7 May 2013

C – Just reading in paper that you now have a title – the sandwich generation who juggle work and family life with caring for elderly parents. We need to come up with a plan like Mums Net – that woman has made shed loads of money.

S – yes and what is it exactly? Just off for jog, or walk in my case.

C – It is a discussion forum for parents. Happy jogging.

S – how about Menopausal Net.

C – brilliant idea – Google it to check no one had done it already.

S – ok.

C – just opening wine – first sign of menopause – can’t keep hands off it – I mean the wine.

S – have had two dry days after over indulgence on Saturday. Don’t think I can take a third.

Just been discussing adding an image to our post and I mentioned that my kids love the advert for Snickers (used to be called Marathon in my day) with Joan Collins – they asked me it she was famous and were amazed to know her age but they both heartily agreed that she looked younger the both Camilla and me.