Is George Going For A Record?

George - get some protection!

George – get some protection!

17 October 2014

C – am cleaning and listening to Radio 4. Some woman has made a fortune out of blogging about her dog which sleeps on the end of her bed – a poodle cross something. It is rather too gooey for me – look her up blog; it is called Plumdog or some such.

S – have looked at blog – she is an illustrator and it does look rather appealing – maybe that is what we need – an illustrator to fluff up our blog!!

20 October 2014

S – made a casserole for the five of us. I went to the neighbours for a drink with my sister (had one too many, of course). Came home and three people have eaten the casserole for five! How does that work? Christina and I now have to have cottage cheese and salad!!!

C – it works no better in my house. Home at five then straight back out with Phoebe to riding lesson. Got home and Toby asleep in the chair – I now have to cook something and do the washing up! Just think of the calories saved by eating cottage cheese instead of casserole. Am off to bed, as Toby watching the golf and it is like watching paint dry – hell’s teeth.

21 October 2014

S – am doing extra day at estate agents but only have one viewing booked. Was just about to go out when Laura said she would do the viewing as everyone gets lost in Stinsford! How the hell can anyone get lost going to (or in) Stinsford – sneeze and you would miss it. I did not argue with her as I could not be bothered, so here I am doing bloody call outs.

C – silly cow. Well, that is one for the blog – must make sure we put a link to Stinsford in it for those who do not live in Dorset. Have just seen one of our followers – she spotted me across the car park in Tesco’s and shouted “I hope that is not wine in that bag”, to which I replied, “Oh no, it is mineral water”. My nose is getting very long.

Later …

C – just had a text from Diane in Australia – Goerge got a ticket for driving without wearing a seat belt while he was over there, and it has just fluttered onto her doormat – he was using her utility when he was working for her. I have to pay $100 otherwise he will not be able to return to Oz.

S – is that boy going for some sort of record? That is the third continent on which he has managed to be fined for not wearing a seat belt!!

C – I think he is – it is like throwing money I do not have away. With Toby at it as well I am beside myslef.

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I Only Put “Lingerie” In The Search Box!!!

Camilla and I never have this problem! (Photo by www.kitchendaily.com)

Camilla and I never have this problem! (Photo by http://www.kitchendaily.com)

4 August 2014

C – just at second clean. I am dusting the bottles of wine on the rack. Can you imagine having bottles of wine in your house so long that they gather dust?

S – no I can’t. I never have dusty wine in my house.

C – lady of the house has a bra and knickers that she paid £80 for (on the bed with lables still attached) – they are double income no kids so I suppose they have little else to do with their money.

S – £80 on a bra and knickers would be nice but then again Michael might get fruity and we dont want that!

C – you don’t want any fruityness in this heat!! I am off to mother-in-laws after cleans as she has had a fall and can’t be left alone. She has a badly bruised and cut face and I think her finger is broken but she refuses to go to hospital. Toby is with her at the moment but he needs to do the stock. Have had Patrick on the phone blubbing, as he is dreading Geroge coming back to the UK. He thinks it will be years before he sees him (and us) again and can’t cope with the thought!!

S – poor Patrick, he will be a mess when George gets on that plane! Sorry I can’t help with Toby’s mother but I am at office doing extra hours, again!! Had the day from hell at estate agents on Saturday with two “touting” rounds shoving cards in letter boxes! And, the punters managed to hit the steps outside the cottage with their car and completely dislodge them, so Michael had to spend Friday afternoon doing repairs in this heat.

C – well, my lot that are in at the moment seen to have broken the brand new Bosch diswasher – have had to call in the suppliers to look at it!!!

Later …

S – have just been looking for a lingerie photo for the post and managed to bring up snaps of people having sex – not what I need when I am at work and someone is standing behind me at the photocopier!! Think I will have to make do with photo of dusty wine bottle.

C – you need to choose your search words more carefully.

S – I only put “lingerie” in the search box!!!

Hot Flushing All Over The Place!

HRT - is it a good idea?

HRT – is it a good idea? (Photo by menopausehysterectomy.com)

18 July 2014

S – how I hate the heat when you have to clean. The house was a tip and I am “hot flushing” all the time – think I may need to go back to GP and chat about HRT – he was not keen to give it to me last time I saw him. The tumble dryer has broken down and I have all the cottage laundry to do and two of the white bedspreads were dirty so they have to be washed.

C – bring any tumble drying over to me and I will do it. You need to tumble the towels, at least, otherwise they will be like cardboard.

Later …

S – just picking Jamie up from school as he has lots of art stuff to bring home for the holidays that he could not carry on the bus. The headmaster has just left the building looking tanned, happy and relaxed as only those earning £120,000 per year do!

C – yes, it is a tidy sum – think I would be looking happy and relaxed with that much coming in each year!! Still, I suppose he earns it. I have just had Patrick on the phone – he was tipsy and sobbing as he was not able to go to the countryside to watch George play Ozzi Footie and George will be returning to the UK soon.

S – poor Patrick; he is going to miss George so much.

21 July 2014

S – good news – I have scraped through my Supervision without any mishaps or mention of my internet usage, thank God. Will ring you when I escape from work – I have been given a very lengthy and laborious task – damn!

C – glad Supervision went well. I was awake half the night stressing about Toby disappearing off to Cornwall sailing and leaving me with all the stock to look after. He forgets that I have to do my cleaning and the estate agents, as well as his sheep and cattle and that is without ferrying Phoebe around and doing the horses!

S – it is too much to ask, I feel.

Nipple Ring Has Been Removed!

A groovy time had by all, I think! (Photo by amazingworld.com)

A groovy time had by all, I think! (Photo by amazingworld.com)

15 July 2014

C – George and Patrick just called me from some bar in Melbourne – they were both shit faced and behaving very badly. I got cross with them for calling me at one in the morning from Patrick’s mobile, which will cost a fortune.

S – glad to hear they are both having a good time, even if you were woken by that mobile again.

Later …

C – had George and Peter on the phone again – they were still out raving at five in the morning – they were both very loud and full of themselves. I am hoping that George’s birthday weekend has come to a close now. The good news is that George has removed his nipple ring, as he could not wear it and play rugby – hooray for that!! How is work? We have 500 followers – a bit of a champagne moment I think!

S – work quite busy again. Good news about the followers – what we need now are more comments – we have to be more proactive in this respect I think and communicate more.

What Is Ozzi Patrick Thinking?

George does not need leading astray!  (Photo by henedinburgh.com)

George does not need leading astray! (Photo by henedinburgh.com)

10 July 2014

S – how is your day going at Hartpury?

C – good – great watching such high class dressage and now waiting for prize giving. On the down side, the back of my neck is burnt and I have been sitting on a plank of wood for several hours so bottom cheeks are numb. Looking forward to supper out and not having to cook. Am wishing I had secreted some wine in my luggage.

Later …

C – now sitting in a pub with some amazing views having a lovely supper – it is at times like these that I realise the pleasures that money would bring!

11 July 2014

C – did not sleep well in student accommodation. When I arrived home the hall and stairs smelt like a dog kennel because Toby had been at the sailing club since I left. I pointed out that the third dog was surplus to requirements and that he had brought it into the house, so he should be cleaning up the mess! Now have large glass of wine in my hand so feeling a little better.

S – yes, she is such a lovely little dog but with two of them already you did not really need a third and to start all that puppy training again!

14 July 2014

C – another blisteringly hot day and I will be sweating like a pig cleaning that holiday home. Only two of us will be doing it (instead of the usual four) due to holidays. Waiting for the bus – it always sails past on a Monday morning; then I have to follow it to school ranting all the way. Skyped Patrick last night and got him out of bed. He and George are having a great time and apparently George is off to a lap dancing club later in the week – I want to kill Patrick for that one.

S – have had quite a lot to do today in the office so have only just read your text. Is Patrick going to the club as well?

C – No, apparently.

S – oh dear, I think George does not need leading astray – he is quite capable of going astray on his own – what is Patrick thinking anyway – he has obviously been watching too many episodes of Friends?

Could Not Leave It Buzzing By The Bed

Could this be him (Photo by www.mendiphillsaonb.org.uk

Can you spot the car? (Photo by http://www.mendiphillsaonb.org.uk)

2 July 2014

C – I forgot to say, blog fans are asking about Mr S – they are missing updates.

S – yes, he was one of our best characters. Bloody nuisance but very close to home, so worried about being found out. When blog goes viral and we have more money than we know what to do with he will be right back in there. In fact, he will be begging for a slot in the Book/Film/Play. No sign of him today as usual. Probably tucked away in some shady lay-by having a snooze!

C – yes, probably is. At second clean and I am dripping with sweat. I was expecting great things form you now that you have that sprancy new up-to-date mobile but I am only getting the same old stuff. Why are you not snapchatting and instagramming along with sending me photos – come on old girl!!

S – I may have up-to-date mobile but I do not have the contract to go with it. I have the same old SIM and the same £8 per month contract, so no snapchatting or instagramming for me – I do not have any free internet connection time and would not know what to do with it if I did.

C – oh, what a cheap skate you are. I had a text from George at 3.00am this morning – I could not leave it buzzing by the bed – had to look. His bank account was overdrawn and he did not know why. I have not heard a peep from him for three weeks and he only texted when he needed money. Went to the bank this morning but he had not signed to say I could talk about his account with the bank staff (as I had requested before he left). He thought there would be no need for me to get involved with his finances – how wrong could he be. One of the ladies behind the desk, who knows me, did take pity on me and gave a general indication of how much money I needed to put into the account to take it out of the red – thank God for someone with some common sense.

S – oh dear, more dramas from the Antipodes – I have all this to look forward to when mine are over there – or on a road trip in the USA, which seems to be what Sophie is planning for her gap year!

To Drink Or Not To Drink, That Is The Question?

I love a drop of the fizz!

I love a drop of the fizz! (Photo from The Guardian)

26 June 2014

C – just paid the bloody fine that George acquired in New Zealand. I had put it on the back burner in the hope that it would go away but another letter fluttered onto my doormat and the fine has now increased, due to the addition of court costs. I should have paid it immediately – it is now $180 – hells’ teeth. Can that boy never keep out of trouble – he is costing me money and he is on the other side of the world. Have had to add it to my credit card which is already pretty much up to its limit. I need some more cleaning jobs – I will have to advertise my services.

S – oh damn, I thought you had paid that. It was never going to go away and you do not want George to be unable to return to New Zealand because of a criminal record, due to an unpaid fine.

27 June 2014

C – how are you this fine sunny morning after your non-drinking night out (NOT) – that was never going to happen once that glass of Prosecco was pressed into your hand? You did not put up much of a fight when seconds arrived either.

S – as I said the other day I have no will power. I think we escaped in the nick of time – one more glass could have sent me reeling over the edge resulting in appalling hangover and duvet day.

C – yes, I agree it could have turned into an unpleasant “morning after the night before”. Michael was our knight without the shining armour providing a taxi service.

28 June 2014

C – apparently, I am cross all the time according to my husband, I wonder why? Is it because he behaves like a teenager?

S – well, my day deteriorated very early with the arrival of a £550 bill from the Taxman. It has to be paid by the end of July or interest will be charged. What a lovely start to the day.

C – why do they always send these letters out to arrive on Saturday (they do that with the dreaded school reports) and spoil ones weekend. It only drives one to drink in the evening – I suppose it makes a change that it is the Taxman’s fault!