Confessions Of A Cleaning Lady

22 July 2013

C – at Manor House today – they are breakfasting on the terrace – all very relaxed – how the other half live? Hubby going in to work later, just had week off with family.

Later…

C – all hell has just broken loose. Lady of the House dropped her new iPhone 4 in the lavatory whilst wrestling with little girl in the bathroom – I was hanging washing on the line.

24 July 2013

C – oh joy, back at Manor House. Will report on any incidents whilst here – bound to be something going on.

S – just done B&B. Very nice ladies. Off to work later.

C – fanging for a cuppa but never get offered one – she is too busy watching the kids TV with her.

C – was up at six – drove kids to riding lesson. Have got five hours cleaning to do and she wants me to change three double beds for guests at the weekend – I don’t want to!!!

S – you would think she would help you with beds!!

C – Yes, she is too busy being the perfect mother.

C – oh joy, she forgot to raid her husband’s wallet this morning (lucky woman to have one to raid) so will have to give me a cheque. Still no sniff of a cup of tea – would even consider forcing a herbal tea down me at this rate.

25 July 2013

S – feel ill, drank too much. Saw skinny Naomi doing her quick 15 bike ride. Feel like a lump of lard compared to her. Must do something about it!

C – I’m with you – drank too much and feel like an elephant – put on so much weight. Maybe we need to address this together or is it just too hard?

S – no, we can do it. We are only talking half a stone or so. Don’t have to be like a stick.

C – ok what’s the plan?

S – drink a bit less, exercise a lot more, I suppose. Oh and skinny Naomi hardly eats any carbs.

C – and can we still drink as menatl helath just as impoetant to maintain (sorry, no glasses).

27 July 2013

C – was on the way to Yeovil at 0700 and spotted that skinny Naomi jogging. Clearly keeping fit is a seven day a week torture. Toby stayed with his mother last night and ended up in Casualty at 0100 in the morning with her with a nose bleed. I have cleaned her house and Toby is doing her garden.

Do not store your iPhone 4 in here!!

Do not store your iPhone 4 in here!!

Camilla’s Confessions of a Cleaning Lady!

Top Tip for phones that are dropped into the lavatory is to put them in a bag with lots of rice, then leave it in the airing cupboard for 24hrs to dry out.

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