The Words “Perry Menopausal” Were Mentioned

At least George is working at festival and hasn't had to pay for this!!!

At least George is working at festival and hasn’t had to pay for this!!!

24 June 2013

C – George home briefly for supplies pre Glastonbury – he is working there for the whole festival. His last words were “tell mum not to worry”. My text to him read “don’t take any shit and I do not mean from the cider tent customers; ie don’t snort, smoke or inject anything. He will be gone a week with no contact as no possibility of charging mobile – hmm, loving that

27 June 2013

C – just seen that Williams woman. Looks like she has just walked out of Vogue Magazine. I look like a dish rag stuffing my face with ice cream, how come she does not have to work – must be the dreaded blow job.

28 June 2013

C – this is message left for me at the Manor House “I’ve left money for three hours today. Not sure there is three hours work to do though, so let me know how long you do. Thank you. PS: still need to buy new mop – keep forgetting – sorry!” What to you make of that – I have not come all this way to do two hours work.

S – oh she does keep you busy – where has she gone today?

C – No idea – is always out and had not paid me for nine hours cleaning but I finally have a cheque in my sticky little hands!

8 July 2013

C – I despair at the length of Phoebe’s skirt – stupid letter from school. I think they should ban skirts and make them all wear trousers – happy Monday!

S – have not had letter about skirt yet but am sure I will.

15 July 2013

C – hi, hope you are not too knackered after today, was such fun, gusset awash a lot of the time but worth it. Going to Scats will never be the same again. Not much joy at doctors. The word “Perry” was mentioned – think that means pre menopausal. She was not keen to see my boobs until the blood tests have been done. Will have to lay off the wine before tests – hells teeth!

16 July 2013

C – heard the funniest thing on Woman’s Hour. Some bloke has written a book called “What do Women Desire”. A woman said that, when married for many years, you need a larger bed and she hates sex, as she feels that her body is a room that she does not want her husband to untidy. Apparently, according to this chap, we need to look deeper into our husband’s eyes to understand their desires!

S – I think we already know their desires!

17 July 2013

S – oh crap, just waiting for MRI scan for clinical trial I am taking part in. Thought they were just scanning my kidneys but they are going to do my liver as well. Not sure that is a good idea!

C – oh damn – I would need a good week off the pop before going through that. Am at Manor House – she has gone away again and did not bother to tell me and left the house alarm on! Then someone came to read the metre for solar panels and can’t find the box. End up in the barn hanging from ladder to find key in secret hiding place. Am in muck sweat!

C – unfortunately, I was not off the pop last night.

C – are you at work?

S – yes, busy typing book. Must look into setting up blog or similar.

C – yes thinking of names – what about Patsy and Lucy? Or Lucy and Linda maybe. I rather like Hinge and Bracket myself. Tia and Suzanna?

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